The life I lead, with a narcissistic individual leads me to feel like I am going crazy. Feeling uneasy and paranoid on a daily basis. The hold he has on me, the control, the manipulations, often too hard to bear, but still I am here, in the depths of despair, feeling like I have no way out.
I know there are others like me, and I want to reach out, but sometimes it feels so lonely, like I am the only one going through it. Occasionally I see a glimmer of hope, I have a feeling of a life without him and I feel a moment of excitement, only to be dashed when he brings me back down to his Earth with a bump.
He has no clue what he is doing, it is in his DNA to be this way. He cant help it, and so I must stand by and be treat this way! Is that truly the case?
Every part of me is drained and lost, and I cannot find the old me anymore. She disappeared along time ago, somewhere out of reach. I want her back. She had sense, she understood that this wasn’t right. She would not of stood for this treatment.
When I look in the mirror I see a fragile reflection, not the strong person I used to see. Who have I become and how will I get myself out of this mess?